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May 2022:
Old Maid Card Game, a Short Story, more babysue comics, abstractions, Magazine PDFs and News, Views & Perspectives



Old Maid Playing Cards.
  Old Maid playing cards are great things.  Some now consider the game to be inappropriate and yet, surprisingly, some companies continue to produce and sell it.  For decades Old Maid existed and no one thought much about it.  I have several decks with some really hideous/funny looking Old Maids on them, but I'm always wanting more.  The basic rule of thumb?  The uglier and more desperate looking the Old Maid, the more desirable the deck is.   When I was real young (about 4 or 5) I was playing the game and got stuck with the Old Maid card at the last minute and everyone started laughing at me.  I got so angry that I ran off with the card and ate it.  True story.  Just goes to show how truly painful and humiliating it is to be the Old Maid, no matter how old you are.  Part of why the game is so interesting is that it's a good example of how our society looks so unfavorably upon old single women while simultaneously sucking up to old men who aren't married.  It's a weird contradiction.  The Old Maid game is a symbol of this dichotomy.  More recent decks have softened up the image in an apparent effort to appease potential buyers.  This is why vintage cards with images of horribly repugnant old women are so much more fun and interesting.  It's about time for some alternative versions of the game, such as:

Stupid Old Maid
Old Deformed Maid
Suicidal Old Maid
Gluten-Free Old Maid
Irritating Old Maid
Old Diseased Maid
Bitter Old Maid
Old Genetically Engineered Maid
Sterile Old Maid
Old Schizophrenic Maid
Whiny Old Maid
Old Forgotten Maid
Smelly Old Maid
Old Man Maid



A Short Story:

Mawbell's Extra Special Puddin' Pumpers
Havin' slung slews of chunks around the place for years, Mawbell had finally made up her mind to do what she had always had it in her mind to do.  Folks far and farther out was always applaudin' when Mawbell showed up at the Annual County Runt Festival with her Extra Special Puddin' Pumpers.  So one day she was a lookin' thru one of them thar city slicker type magazines and saw that they was a havin' a big contest in New York City to see who could make the best of the best.  And the judges was to be the biggest fat eaters anyone had ever knowed.  So she gathered up her best garter belts and show-off wigs and shimmied her way up to the giant city that no one had never visited.  When she got there she was greeted by all kinds of things she ain't never seed.  Some was things that she liked, but others was things that seemed mean.  No matter, 'cause Mawbell was there for one thing and one thing only...to push her Puddin' Pumpers to the folks that mattered.  On the day that thousands was preparing for, Mawbell had created her damn best.  She strutted right up to the fatties and handed each one a handmade Pumper.  As their slurpy jowels caressed the tastyness with ooze, all the fat judges stood up and rejoiced.  "Mawbell is the President Queen of Forever with her mighty fine Puddin' Pumpers!" they cheered with roaring delight.  As Mawbell stepped forward to accept her prize, a teeny tiny mouse appeared at the foot of the judging booths with a toy banana in its tiny mouth.  "Muh fuffuh buh WARFER slarr!" said the mouse as it raised a lighted torch to the sky.  "Mawbell buffuh wuffuh prosopagnosia...!"  As the prize money fell in fluffy buckets from the sky, everyone's applause filled the air with a Chocktaw stash of mockish purr-dom.







Click on cover above to view PDFs.

This month's newly uploaded PDFs: babysue, Volume 2, Issue 2, from 1989.
See all PDFs here and here.
Note: Opinions expressed are not necessarily the author's opinions.

May 2022: News, Views & Perspectives.

There's a new album out by babysue favorite doubleVee entitled Treat Her Strangely.  This is the band's first album in a while, and it is yet another knock-your-socks-off experience featuring nine well-crafted melodic tracks with a difference.  Do yourself a favorite and check out everything this band has recorded.  They are truly the cream of the crop in the world of underground pop.    There's a super cool new Maryland-based band called Tall Well that's making some nifty music.  Cool underground fuzzpop with a difference.  If the group's first two released songs are any indication, their forthcoming album is gonna be a keeper.

For many years professionals have estimated the universe to be around 3.7 billion years old.  But many are now claiming that the number is much lower.  Leading astronomers and scientists currently estimate the universe to be approximately 6 weeks old.

Johnny Society.  One of the greatest bands of all time is Johnny Society.  The group is also (apparently) one of the best kept secrets in the world of music.  The band's music combines sounds from ultra-cool artists like The Move, Badfinger and Family.  I am pleased to report that Johnny Society songs sound better than ever in 2022, and I highly recommend everything the band has recorded.  The music is out-of-this-world incredible.  The group features the soaring mind-blowing vocals of a fellow named Kenny Siegal who, along with his wife Gwen Snyder Siegal (also known as Blueberry, a superb recording artist), run Old Soul Studios located in Catskill, New York.  While Kenny has been mainly focusing on recording and producing other artists there over the past few years, I keep hoping he will switch the focus back to his own music.  If you want an immediate intoxicating dose of what this man and his musician pals are capable of, check out the video (and song) "Don't Talk Me Down."  Vibrant.  Exciting,  Instantly catchy...and totally hypnotic stuff.  Johnny Society is one of the great classic pop/rock bands.  With a unique sound that is impossible to forget, Siegal's voice always reminds me of perpetual babysue favorite Roy Wood.

Climate Change: A Simple Solution.
So many have been so concerned for such a long time about climate change because it will ultimately result in the end of mankind.  The good news is that there is now a solution to the problem.  For years, people have been discussing how to make changes in our lifestyle(s) and on our planet.  But no matter what we do, it is almost impossible to do much to alter the average temperature of our planet by even a few degrees.  On earth, four or five degrees is a whole lot.  What few ever considered up until now was placing the emphasis somewhere else, somewhere where a few degrees arenít such a big deal.  This is what led to the solution.  Instead of trying to do things differently here on earth, what we need to do is turn down the temperature of the sun.  Considering the overall temperatures of our home star, a few measly degrees amount to almost nothing.  This is what prompted top astronomers to find a way to adjust the temperature of our star. As it turns out, the thermostat was much easier to pinpoint than scientists originally thought. Now that it has been located, making the appropriate adjustments will only take a few months. A specially designed remote control is being developed to help facilitate the process.  It wonít be long before the sunís temperature is a bit cooler.  And when this occurs, climate change will no longer be a problem.

LED Party Lights.  In case you weren't already aware of this...there are some extremely affordable LED Party Lights out there that are totally cool.  I bought some for about fifteen dollars (each) a few years ago when they first start manufacturing them and was surprised by how great they looked.  Well now that a few years have passed...these ultra cool damn lights are popping up all over the place (junk stores, yard sales, everywhere), and it's not uncommon now to find 'em for a buck or two (yow!).  My latest find was two dollars and it's a totally eye-popping experience.  It provides a wild blur of trippy colors moving across my walls and ceiling and it makes me feel like I'm at the bottom of the ocean (except without all the hassles and expense).  So...the name may be annoying ('Party Light' ?  barf...!)...but some of these lights are absolutely hypnotic and WUNNERFUL.  Some are way better than others, of course.  The ones to completely avoid are those that have identifiable little boring objects in the mix like circles, stars, animals, faces etc. (these are apparently targeted to children).  Abstract and unusual totally rules in the world of LED Party Lights, and if you find the right one...you will LOVE it.


The NASA Connection.  For the past few months I have been keenly fascinated by the James Webb Telescope.  It's a nice reminder that, despite the overabundance of losers and human scum, there are some incredibly smart and amazing people on our planet.  I was at a yard sale recently and found a strange chunk of metal in a cylinder shape -- strange because it is far more dense than metal normally is.  I asked the couple how much and the husband replied, "You can just have it."  I paid something for it anyway because they were so generous.  When asked about the metal thing, the lady said "That came from our son who works for NASA."  I was instantly excited, so I asked what their did.  "He's a technician working on the next telescope that's coming after James Webb."  I mentioned that they must be very proud of their son and told them the piece of metal was the high point of my day.  So anyway...now a piece of NASA sits proudly in my living room.  Maybe one day I'll find out what kind of strange metal it is.  It's at least twice as heavy as steel or iron (?).  This is one of the reasons I love yard sales so much.  You never know what you might find or who you might meet.

NOTABLE NEW RELEASES.
Tony Jay - Hey There Flower (Mt. St. Mtn.).  JOYFULTALK - Familiar Science (Constellation Records).  Motherhood - Winded.  Maria Emrik - Happy To Be Me.  D. Mark Owen - Respite (Blue Canoe Records).  Cos - Grace.  Darkbird - Ballad of a Junebug EP.  The Legless Crabs - Always Your Boy (Metal Postcard Records).  doubleVee - Treat Her Strangely.  The Kut - Grit (Criminal Records).  Sound&Shape - Disaster Medicine.  Stick Men - Tentacles EP (Moonjune).  Whimsical - Melt (Through Love Rec. / Shelflife).  Christopher Lockett - At The Station (Gritbiscuit Records).  Unik Ubik - I'm Not Feng Shui  (Humpty Dumpty Records).  Big'n - Discipline Through Sound 25 (Cmptrstdnts).  Seedsmen To The World - Seedsmen To The World (Birdman Records / Blue Arrow Records).  Amoeba Teen - Amoeba Teen (Big Stir Records).  Alice Austin - Goodnight Euphoria.  Nezrok - The Human Race.  Melted Wings - Cheer for the Deer.  Crawling Chaos - Seeds of Contemplation.  Sagittaire - Lovely Music (Org Music).  Say It Anyway - Picture Frames EP (Real Ghost Records).  May Erlewine - Tiny Beautiful Things.  Americana Railroad - Compilation (BMG).  Nicki Bluhm - Avondale Drive (Compass Records).  Pictoria Vark - The Parts I Dread (Get Better Records).  Julie Jurgens - Appointed Tasks (Butterbean Records).  Elko The Strange - Mystique (HiFi Mantra Records).  Lee Rogers - Gameblood.  Luminous Beings - Horrors (Luminous Music).  Dewey Defeats Truman - The Way You Shatter (Silver Girl Records).  Jaco - Trace (Bervatim Music).  Boy Omega - It's Dangerous To Go Alone! Take This.  Red Hot Shame - My Satellite.  Jim Tenor - Multiversum (Bereau-B).  James Booth & The Return - Postcards From the New Frontier.  Tiffany Goode - 1217 (Mint 400 Records Raining Music).  Les Cooper - Noise.  Marc Ambrosia - Edge (Roon Boon Records).  Bruno Morais - Poder Supremo.  PhonoMatiq - Retro Lounge: Pop Hits Reimagined.  Madeleine - Stoned and Bored.  Don Campau & Tom Furgas - Marching On (available now for the first time on bandcamp).  Chuck Yoakum - The Paisley Garden Project (Kook Kat Musik).  Ryan Bourne - Plant City.  Tony Jay - Hey There Flower (Mt.St.Mtn.).  Alex Baird - Lemon Tree.  Red Hot Shame - My Satellite.  Jimi Tenor - Multiversum (Bureau B).  UFO Over Lappland - Spokraketer (Burnt Toast Vinyl).  UFO Over Lappland - UFO Over Lappland (Burnt Toast Vinyl).  Leland and the Silver Wells - Straight To Your Town (Rubia Records).  Nicki Bluhm - Avondale Drive (Little Knickers / Compass Records).  Mear - Soft Chains.  Kevin Kastning & Mark Wingfield - I Dreamed of Invisible Journeys (Greydisc Records).

[This section only includes full-length releases and EPs.]


   
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