LATEX

She painted her walls with
Latex.
She painted her friends with
Propofol.

WIFE BRAINS

Rats ate out
My wife's brains
Yesterday.

STORKS

If storks bring 'em
Why can't they take 'em
Away.

ELECTIONS

All elections are
Crummy.

COMMON CAUSE

When people
Come together for
A common cause they
Become even more
Common than they
Already were.

DAMN LIVES

Don't forget
How important our
Damn lives is.

RING

A ring is
A symbol of lies and
Misrepresentations.

CARE

Squares
Care.

TWO TIMERS

After he bought
A second timer
He then had
Two timers.

CONNECT TO CUT

All connections
Disconnect and
Connect to
Cut.

PASSION

Passion is
Futile.

FAIR NOT FAIR

This is fair.
That is not fair.

SEVEN PRETTIES

Pretty pretty pretty pretty
Pretty pretty
Pretty.

WISHFUL PRAYER

Wish and pray
It will all
Go away.

BLANKET

A blanket
Is only as good
As the stuff
It covers.

DEAD POINT

What's the point
When we all
Die anyway.

DECEMBER 2021 NEWS & VIEWS.
All the information you need to know and none of the information you don't need to know.

Sandy McNight and Fernando Perdomo have released another cool and instantly rewarding batch of tunes.  The album is entitled San Fernando Blast! The title says it all.  This one truly is a blast.  If you've never checked out Kool Kat Musik, there's no better time to do so than now.  Head honcho Ray Gianchetti at this intriguing independent music label (and website) has been consistently offering credible cool underground pop/rock for years.  Not only does he release kickass artists on his own Kool Kat label, but he also sells a whole slew of releases that he likes on other labels.  Kool Kat is one of the genuinely great resources in the United States for underground and independent modern pop.  Ronnie Martin has an excellent new electro-pop song out called "From The Womb Of The Morning, The Dew Of Your Youth Will Be Yours" on the always flavorful Velvet Blue Recordings label.  Coming soon will be Martin's full-length album with the same title as the single.  If you love(d) Joy Electric (like me), you're bound to love Ronnie's latest stuff.  Soon to be closed forever.  In the very near future, all businesses will close.  And, fortunately for all of us, they will never ever reopen.  Tokyo Rosenthal has a digital single out entitled "Morning Star Missionary Baptist Church."  Rosenthal's songs always satisfy, and his fans are sure to love this one.  Helping people regain their positive outlook as the pandemic subsides, Great Britain's Martin Gordon has recorded and released his take on the always-popular classic "Somewhere Over the Rainbow."  Population and Production Problems.  With so much focus on trying to prevent the inevitable, it seems incredible that earth's two biggest problems hardly ever receive any attention at all: (1) too many people and (2) no caps on production.    If you wanna hear some super cool music, check out Birmingham, Alabama-based recording artist Jaco's new album entitled Trace.  Jaco once again worked with Lester Nuby III (also an excellent recording artist) on this one and it gets a total thumbs up.  Plus it's being promoted by the fine folks at XO Publicity, who always get my stamp of approval.  If you're interested in underground stuff that can't be found anywhere else, check out the Brett Shingledecker Papers collection that is now housed at Ohio State University (in the Special Collections Registry).  Shingledecker was the co-owner of the legendary gay/lesbian bookstore People Like Us in Chicago in the 1990s.  Unlike most who discarded underground publications from the 1980s to the present, Brett collected and kept and kept and collected...until he finally decided he needed to do something with his voluminous mountain of stuff.  That's where the fine folks at Ohio State University stepped in and made the wise decision to house all these cool materials.  The collection is divided into sections (series), making it easy for folks to delve into the real world of underground publishing.  Yet Another Yard Sale Story.  On a chilly morning in November, I stopped at a yard sale that looked interesting. This one had tons of cool stuff and the depth of interests was truly mindblowing.  Just about everything at the sale was either peculiar, odd or really really neat.  It was anything but the average sale with the same old crap.  It didn't take long to realize the sale was being given by one young lady, who just happened to be exceptionally friendly and funny.  "The range of your interests is amazing!" I said, striking up a conversation.  "I know," she replied.  "I'm trying to narrow my focus so things don't get so out-of-control."  The conversation turned to compulsive collecting and how it affected our lives.  While we were talking she put a beautiful large boxed photograph/wedding portrait at the foot of a table.  "How much?" I asked.  "A dollar," she answered. It was only then that I realized that it was her wedding portrait.  "Well, I guess that marriage didn't go as planned!" I said.  When I added the boxed photograph to my growing pile of super cool items, she looked at me kinda incredulously and said, "Are you really going to buy my wedding photo?"  When I said yes she laughed and said, "You are hilarious!"  "Will you sign it?" I asked.  Before I knew it, she was running off to get a pen.  "You don't really have to go to all that trouble!" I shouted (feeling guilty that she was spending so much time and energy on a dollar item).  "It's okay...I want to," she yelled back.  "I like this!"  She returned and signed her name at the bottom.  This cool intriguing lady sold me a whole bunch of her super cool merchandise for almost nothing.  As I was leaving, I told her that I did not resell stuff but just hoarded interesting things for no reason.  (I often feel the need to tell people this so they won't think I'm going to run off and make big bucks selling their stuff.)  Not surprisingly, she was in the same situation and did not have an outlet for making real money from her unusual finds either.  She told me that she just enjoys finding unique and interesting things, but eventually the stuff becomes unmanageable and she has to have sales to get rid of some of the excess.  What a smart, genuine and unique individual.  Her wedding portrait now hangs proudly in my carport, where it will always remind me of my cool ten minute interaction.  I can't remember the last time I laughed this much.  The Mushed Up Poodle Dog Cheese Covered Thing (also known as Little Mopey) is releasing a collection of unreleased recordings entitled Rare Poodle Cheese: The Lost Recordings That Were Never Discovered For Pretty Listeners Who Failed Second Grade But Ended Up Making Lots Of Paddle-Drops Anyway.  This is an album that you won't soon remember.  Lots of new releases.  A very large important and influential label company is releasing 5,000 new albums every day for the next twelve years.  That's a lot of music, and you can be sure each and every one of these albums will be a huge financial success.  If the first 25,000 do not immediately turn a profit, the label will fold and that will be the end of that.  I'm a big successful model now.  I decided to become a model because it seemed like the wrong thing to do.  I just modeled in some extremely high profile magazines and next month I will be modeling in major motion pictures and commercials for huge corporations that pay lots of money.  The thing I like best about modeling is that everyone recognizes me now.  That's why I decided to become a model.  Next year I plan to stop modeling altogether because I hate doing what I love to do.  The Beatles reunion. The Beatles are getting back apart in June, but right now it's all very hush hush.  Removing John Lennon's replacement will be Ray Davies, while George Harrison's replacement position will be patched in by Fad Gadget.  The band is planning to play on the roof of a McDonald's restaurant in rural Mississippi for their debut performance.  The concert will be simulcast in unison by multiple simulcasters.  Minnie Ripperton will be the opening act.  The band Royal Castles has released yet another cool song (and video) entitled "Schonsee."  Sung in both England and German by Katrin Sawatzky, it's a cool melodic track driven by those wonderful thick fuzzy guitars the band is known for.  From the album entitled Just The Hits.  Totally cool stuff.  Lots of stars.  Did you know there are more than 50 stars in the Milky Way galaxy?  Scientists have recently found that, in addition to our Sun (which actually is a star), there are several other stars out there as well.  Some scientists believe the number could be even higher, around 55 or even 60 if their calculations are correct.  Don Campau has made his 2006 album Pen Pals 3 available on bandcamp for free or pay-what-you-want.  The album features Campau and an all-star cast of home recording artists (many of which are all-time favorites).  He has also announced there may be a Pen Pals 5 release in 2022.  The creator.  Are you aware of the fact that I created everything?  Yes, you read that correctly.  If it exists, it can always be traced back to me.  When you go to sleep at night, how do you think that mattress you're sleeping on came to be?  That's right, I'm the man who made that mattress possible.  Do you ever wonder where all those electronic devices you use originated?  Right here in my plush office suites.  What about cars?  What about oceans?  Animals?  Buildings?  Or food?  Me, me, me, me...but I do have to confess that Little Timmy Boatmilk gets credit for creating food.  No, not really.  It was me who gets credit for the food thing too.  Just remember that if it exists, I created it.  And if it was invented, I was the inventor.  Not only did I create everything...but I created everyone as well.  Yes, you, your family, your friends...you're all beings that were conceptualized and reproduced in my very own laboratory.  So, why did I do all of this?  Because I care.  I care about you and your world.  And I just want you to be happy.  That's why I keep creating things and people.  It's because I like seeing things be happy.  When you are happy it makes me happy.  And when we are all happy, things become very groovy and almost seem almost real some of the time.  Tex Avery is God.  Like so many others, I see Tex Avery as one of the most uniquely hilarious innovators in the world of cartoons.  Some purists are finding fault with some of the new cleaned up versions of his work (the points they make are valid).  But I’m just glad there are folks out there who realize the true long-term value of Avery’s creations and are working to preserve them.  Tex has influenced so many talented individuals.  In the years ahead his work will be even more highly praised and respected. 

NOTABLE NEW RELEASES.  Yes Factory - A Compendium of the Imaginarium Menageries (Tambourine Machine Records).  King Crimson - Music Is Our Friend.  Mark Joseph - Vegas Motel.  The Be Positives - Everything About The Be Positives (Think Like A Key).  Pablo Solo - Solo Sings Simon (Think Like A Key).  Bordello & Clark - Atlantic Crossing (Dippy / Think Like A Key).  Dark Mark vs. Skeleton Joe - Dark Mark vs. Skeleton Joe (Rare Bird/Kitten Robot Records).  Kramer - And the Wind Blew It All Away (Shimmy-Disc / Joyful Noise Recordings).  Floating Room - Shima EP.  Frank Mighty's Hotline - Whispersongs EP.  Fires of Denmark - Relativity.  Kaspar Baum - Vuurland.  Nathan Felix - Texas Skies.  Hundred Headless Horsemen - Apokalepsia (Inverse Records).  Carrier - When New York Is Drowning.  Kali Malone - Velocity of Sleep (XKatedral).  Power of Dreams - Auslander.  Daryl Mosley - Small Town Dreamer (Pinecastle Records).  Demonologist - I Curse, I Dance (Kvtl Und Kaos Productions).  North Mississippi Allstars - Set Sail.  Massage - Lane Lines EP (Mt. St. Mtn.).  Wyoming Young and Strong - Black Wire.  Ben Caplan - Recollection.  The Monsters - You're Class, I'm Trash (Voodoo Rhythm Records).  Modern Stars - Psychindustrial (Miacameretta Records).  The Breakbeast - Monkey Riding God (Overdrive).  Mule Jenny - All These Songs Of Love and Death (Figures Libres / Grabuge/Araki).  Boledo with Tony Levin and Kenny Grohowski - Seriously Deep (MoonJune).  Stang - Raw.  The Cravens - Cravenology.  Adiant - Killing Dreams (Black Sunset).  Engelbert Humperdinck - Regards EP (OK!Good Records).  The Nervous Hex - Self-titled EP.  Spring Owls - Love Evolving EP.  Sarah Perrotta - Blue To Gold (Third Star Records / 7D Media).  Twin Rains - Unreal City.  Chantel McGregor - Volume One.  Chantel McGregor - Volume Two.  Mark Murdock - Visitors From Another Planet (Cymbalic).  Love Bubble - Love Revolution.  Held By Trees - Mysterium.  Rachel Flowers - Bigger On The Inside.  Anyone - In Humanity (TogethermenT Records).  The Livesays - Not What I Bargained For.  Robby Steinhardt - Not In Kansas Anymore: A Prog Opera.  The Furys - Again (Arcane Alley).

[Note that the New Releases section is (obviously) by no means comprehensive.  Also note that the list does not include singles, only full-length and EP releases.  If something you submitted is not here, it does not reflect in any way on your music or you personally.]