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SANTA CLAUS AND THE MAGIC HOLIDAY WISH
by
Once upon a time in the middle of a lovely forest community lived a mother, a father, and a horribly deformed child. The mother's name was Julia, and she had twilight golden hair of silky wonderful pureness. Julia's husband was named Mark, a handsome rugged young man whose main ambition in life was to provide for his family. Early in their marriage, Julia and Mark decided to have a child...and that is when their problems began.
Soon after giving birth, Julia awoke to find a doctor at her side calmly informing her about the physical deformities. Mark held her as she cried and cried a hefty fish bowl of tears. They both agreed that it would have been better to have had an abortion, but how could they have known in advance? Now all they could do was try and figure out how to deal with their ugly little runt of a baby.
"Maybe he will surprise us one day and grow up to be very intelligent and successful," Mark suggested in his most positive tone of voice.
"Oh yeah, right..." Julia snapped back. "This little retard is going to cost us a goddamn fortune. And with the economy being the way it is and all, we will never ever be able to survive."
Time passed...and the child grew more and more retarded. As a baby it had cost them a fortune...but as a young child it was costing them even more.
"Something has to be done," Julia said to Mark. "This is just costing us way too much money. I still can't find a job and all of our monthly expenses continue to rise. And besides, we don't even love the child."
"Maybe Santa Claus can help," Mark suggested.
"Are you crazy?" Julia snapped. "Sometimes you are so stupid."
"No, I'm serious Julia," Mark explained. "I saw a story on the news the other night. A woman who had a terminal illness wrote a nice friendly letter to Santa Claus. And he cured her! Now she is going to live a full, normal life."
"Okay, go ahead and write your silly letter," Julia said. "But don't be disappointed when nothing happens."
"Oh, something will happen," Mark said as his teeth grinned just as big and wide as a pumpkin pie. "Something most surely will happen because something always does happen."
So Mark sat down and wrote his letter using his very best penmanship. His words were thoughtful and precise. Here is what his letter said:
Dearest Santa Claus:
I am writing you because I do not know what else to do. My beautiful wife and I have a child that is terribly deformed. It is so terribly deformed that it is costing us a fortune to raise it. Our home is in foreclosure and my wife cannot find a job. We have no life anymore because all of our money is spent trying to care for the child and attend to its needs. Over the past three years we have come to resent and despise the poor thing. Is there anything you can do to help us? I normally don't beg because I am a man of pride and conviction. But is there any way under the sun that you can help us? Pretty please, Santa? I have plenty of cookies and cold milk, if that is what you want. Just let me know what kind of cookies you like best.
Sincerely,
Mark
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Two weeks passed and nothing happened. As each disappointing day passed, Mark became increasingly withdrawn and depressed. Finally it was Christmas eve. After putting their son to sleep, Mark and Julia sat by their Christmas tree and sighed.
"I guess Santa didn't get my letter," Mark said solemnly.
"What did you expect?" asked Julia as she put her arm around her husband. "I told you that your idea was stupid."
Mark got up to go check on their child. Not more than a few second later Julia heard him scream. She ran into the child's room and saw her husband standing in front of the window. In his arms was their little boy...all freshly dead and still slightly warm.
"Santa answered my letter!" Mark exclaimed with glee. "He did! He did!"
"Well damn, he sure did!" Julia squealed with joy as she poked at the child to make sure it was truly deceased. "It's dead! It's really, really dead, Mark! Thank God we don't have to deal with that little problem any more."
"So...what do we do with it?" Mark asked.
"Just throw it in the trash dumpster," Julia suggested as she pulled a sturdy plastic bag from the drawer. "If we mix it in with a bunch of other food and stuff the trash man will never even notice it."
The next morning bright and early Mark and Julia watched out their front window as their large green receptacle was raised over the roaring garbage truck. As the contents flowed in with all the other useless rubbish, they looked at one another and smiled knowingly.
"How can we ever thank Santa Claus?" asked Julia.
"Speaking of..." Mark said slowly as a loud thump roared through the caverns of the chimney. Billowing ashy smoke appeared as a familiar jolly old man suddenly appeared in the middle of their living room.
"Thank you for killing our child, Santa," said Mark as he offered a large plate of fresh warm cookies. "You have made our dream come true."
"Think nothing of it," Santa Claus replied as he pulled out his doodle and began wetting the plush wool carpet. "Best part of my job."
The End
©2008 LMNOP®